Dave's Negative Blogs

Advertisement for New Album

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:26:37 +0100

Here's a little advert i made for my new album (which is ALMOST finished)

Should be done near the end of this month

There are 3 samples from 3 songs on this video. There will be 10 or 11 tracks on the album.

Enjoy!

Sorry for the low quality, uploading it in highest quality would take me hours on this computer

Comments

Clown Fish

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:31:26 +0100

I stand there in the cold. I should have worn a bigger coat today. Be too warm in the afternoon in exchange for insulation at night? Not worth it. I still stand there in the cold. Every bus that’s not mine is a bus I would like to see crash. Every plane that passes is a possible alien craft that just might abduct me and show me something new. If I’m lucky. It arrives. We all get on, all of us sardines in a can. All of us clowns in a tiny comedy clown car. A clown bus full of sardines. I’m a clown fish. The bus smells like putrid tuna. Fat women with large bags of Iceland brand freezeries press against me, as if I am to blame for their failed seat retrieval. As usual I gravitate towards the doors. Times have changed making the back doors open horizontally rather than inwards reducing the risk of crushing by about thirty percent. Through the glass I can see a woman sitting down with her bags on the seat next to her. I’m sure she is very nice in real life. I’m sure that beyond this bus journey, in her everyday life she’s just a loving mother bringing her hungry little children some shopping home. I bet there’s something in the bag for her ill husband too. Some soup so she can feed him in bed and help to get him well again in time for Christmas. But now, on this bus, to me she is the devil. Her choice of bag placement has been her downfall and in my mind I am pushing her off of a cliff. The bus arrives at the next localised area and a stampeding horde of heavy citizens’ force their way out of the doors leaving me wedged in-between. I give up and get off one stop early. I get home quickly and go upstairs. I put on a record and the day is over.

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My First Uni Project

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:17:01 +0100

Hello there everyone, hope you are all well. Sorry i haven't been on for a while but i have been very busy with Uni work and other little creative things. Just thought i would share this with you. It's our first Uni project which was to "make a music video"

I co directed and starred in this. I am lame in it, so be warned (felt very ill)
Still, hope you like it.

Its "Howl" by Florence and the Machine. I was 1 of 5 in a group who worked on this

So what next ?

Well i have 2 more projects to film for Uni which i need to get done fairly soon. We are doing a short suspense film in a group and i also have to make a film on my own. I am currently writing it. It's called "The Record Player" and i really hope you all like it. I'm pretty proud of it. I have also been working on a new album! been a busy guy. I look forward to seeing what you all think of it when i release it for free this month. Especially you Seasideman. Its still electronica, but its miles different to the last one i released which was more of a mini album made up of unfinished songs. This one is going to be very much finished.

Anyway, enough about me. Hope you are all well.

Comments

Drag Queens for Charity

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:40:14 +0100

I saw a very interesting American news report on the internet the other day. I’m not sure when it was broadcast but it didn’t seem too old. I’ll link it at the end.

It was about a group of drag queens/female impersonators, who were putting on a drag cabaret somewhere in a small Christian town to help raise money for breast cancer. Can you see where this is going? The “morally correct” Christian’s in the town decided that this was an abomination and threatened the drag queens informing them that if they went along with their sordid sinful shenanigans they would be beaten and possibly even burnt. One thing to also be noted is that this isn’t even a “loud drag queens riding into a small town in a convertible to shake up the place” scenario. These people are actually from the town themselves. It’s no “to Wong foo…”

So here’s what baffles me. I know its not the same for all Christians, but I would like to ask this to any Christian readers I might have; What is more important to you? Condemning something ultimately harmless like cross-dressing because of its “risk to corrupting youth” and ruining something amazingly good like raising money for breast cancer, or having a more relaxed attitude to you religion and realising that helping people with cancer is probably the greater good.

Here’s where it gets sort of confusing though. If you’re in favour of the latter option and think a more relaxed stance on your religion is appropriate then why do you actually even have a religion? To have a relaxed attitude towards your own religion is like having a relaxed attitude to building a house. If you don’t use every brick, it’s only going to fall down. Build the house right though, walk upstairs and then you’re closer to God. Again its this absurdity of picking and choosing.

So, here’s what I think. I think those hillbillies that protested that Breast Cancer charity are true Christians. In my eyes they are the definition of what a “good Christian” truly is. A good Christian is one that follows all the rules no matter how petty or dated. A good Christian is one that stones their disobedient child to death. A good Christian knows the benefits of slavery.

I didn’t want to do another rant-ish blog about religion for a long time, but I found my bible in a cupboard. Yes, I do own one. It was given to me free by my secondary school years ago. And yes, I did read it.

Please Christians, your thoughts.

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It begins...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:20:26 +0200

Hello ladies and germs, hope you are all well.

Just a quick update on things

I am still at Uni! working hard, learning much. We are currently learning how to operate a studio live and our first single camera project is a music video, which is going pretty well. I'm co - directing.

Speaking of which i recently just bought a new camera. Its the Canon xm1 and i have to say im blown away. Heres a video of me fucking around with it. Some average camera work but hey, i had only had it 10 minutes.

It set me back £600, so thats my student funding completely wiped out now. Oh well, its an investment.

In other news have any of you seen the movie "A Room for Romeo Brass"? starring Paddy Consitine. Fucking hell, what an amazing performance. I really like Shane meadows films and Paddy Consitine, so i cant believe it's taken me so long to see this masterpiece.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it i highly reccomend it.

How are you all?

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The Music Never Stops

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:19:45 +0200

I have been at University for 2 weeks now and I am enjoying it immensely. I get to fuck around with £6000 cameras and learn about making films and running a television studio. So I find it very odd that during all this inspiration I am getting to pursue my dreams in the world of movie making my creativity level has gone down rapidly. I haven't had any time to contribute to my scripts or stories, nor have I made any attempt recently to do any short films. However as the title suggests, the music never stops for some reason. I have been generating a lot of music recently and it's just funny to me that the reverse of what was happening when I was in college is going on. When I was studying music in College, outside of it I had no time for it. I over did it in the day and then on any other day I would focus on visual media.

It's a confusing way to operate. I think mainly I'm trying to look at the bigger picture at the moment. I don't want to film until I have a good enough script and I don't want to add to my script until I feel I have a good enough thing to add. I think that music is the only thing I am consistently prolific with and in a sense this is very useful for when the time comes that I need to add music to one of my films because I don't have to worry about copyrights. I basically have a library of over 3 hours of electronica and about an hour or so of other guitar stuff. Then there's the hour or so of odd ambience (which will be especially useful)

So yeah, if anyone does want some audio for a film or anything, I'm always available. I'll try and get some samples up soon and that. (I didn't start out this blog to advertise myself)

Hope you are all well

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An amusing Uni story

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:49:46 +0200

So I have been at University for 2 days now and I have to say so far so great. The grounds are beautiful and the people I have met so far are really fun, intelligent and friendly, although on my first day, Monday, something rather embarrassing happened to me.

It's not the worst thing in the world but its not an amazing way to start a year. I was told I needed to be at my building by 11 O'clock and as I approached it I saw a large group of people being lined up outside. As I wasn't 100% sure where I was supposed to be going I made my way over to them. A rather stiff suited man asked me “New student?” and without lying I told him yes. He then practically dragged me over to a line of people and stuck me with a partner of some sort. This is where Mr. Cunt comes into play. I call him Mr. Cunt because, if you ever saw this man you would automatically call him Mr. Cunt, despite what his real name is. A real bona-fide cunt of a man. Sarcasm in every word. A one man instrument of patronising tones. He told us all to drop our bags and shake each others hands. I did not drop my bag. Despite having a camera in it, I don't take orders from bona-fide cunts. He then proceeded to encourage us all to tell each other our names, followed by a series of questions to ask each other along the lines of “What would you do if you won the lottery?” yeah, real original stuff like that. He asked me what I would do. On the spot and attempting to answer honestly I said “Buy a new camera?” He then tried his hardest to make me look like Mr. Cunt by informing me he would give almost all of it to charity. I told him “that's nice. You really are a very nice person” and he left me alone. By the time he asked us all to sing happy birthday to each other (absolutely true, seriously) I asked the suited flat headed man if I, a media student was even supposed to be here. I was relieved when he said I didn't. I was in the middle of a meet and greet for the Computer students. I walked away as fast as I could not looking back. I had feared for a second that my tutors were complete idiots and that I was in for a year of Mr. Cunt and his generous and charitable ways. Relieved as I was I couldn't help feel sorry for the computer students that had to endure this.

I arrived at my lecture at 11:15 so it wasn't too bad, however its a 15 minutes I would love to forget.

I hope you enjoyed this short tale of minor embarrassment and I am sure there will be many more over the next 3 years.

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Uni, God and Fridge magnets

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:20:59 +0200

I know my last post was quite pro-Gregg's but lets clear this up. The only fully satisfying Gregg's I have ever been in was the one in Greenwich. Recently I tried the one in Bromley and although the sandwich was okay, it didn't hold a candle to what Greenwich had to offer. Also when I went in there must have been a sign on the wall I didn't see reading “The stupidest, most over personal, loud and badly singing member of staff gets a £50 bonus today” because I literally couldn't pay for my items quick enough. I had to escape being serenaded while they all shouted at each other “You on break? When is my break? Can you pick me up some rolls?”

I have been thinking about God again recently (not that I ever don't have the eternal question burning in my brain at all given times of each and every fucking day) but yesterday I came to the abstract notion that God is in fact, a Fridge Magnet. Consider that Evolution is a Fridge. It holds most things, not everything but most things. It gives them a place and keeps them from going off (on one). Then stick a fridge magnet to the fridge. It looks nice and that but it doesn't affect anything the fridge does.

Also in retrospect I realised this was a stupid theory and stopped thinking about it. Think harder about your metaphors David, think harder.

Anyway, I start University tomorrow/today which is exciting. It's odd because I literally haven't met anyone. No one on the course, no teachers or anything so not sure what to expect really. I have a temporary I.D though which you will be happy to know makes me look like an idiot and this week is “Fresher's week” and I have no idea what that involves. From what my Universities student paper describes though it seems to be the social event of the decade...

Anyway, hope you are all well

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Old Gregg's

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:06:20 +0200

I have memories of “Greggs” the bakers. I have memories similar to my memories of KFC. I have memories of walking past it and getting the scent of steamed turds whofting up my nose holes. I have memories of going in there with my mum as a child and being overshadowed by the never changing 45-55 year old female staff offering the most putrid looking sausage rolls and pasties filled with old nappy waste (probably) I have memories of only ever wanting their ginger bread men. The taste of the ginger combined with the smartie created probably my first orgasm.

So you can imagine my confusion when a few days ago after registering for my University in Greenwich I decided to go in there. I don't know why I did it. I literally haven't stepped near them in about 7 years, but for some reason or another I decided to have a look. I took a chance ladies and gentlemen and bought their chicken and bacon salad sandwich with white seeded bread and what I'm about to say ladies and gentlemen is something I will never come to understand or fully accept. That sandwich was possibly the nicest sandwich I have ever eaten. It was perfect. Everything about it was amazing. The lettuce was crisp and fresh as was the warm soft bread. I felt empty after finishing it. I wanted another one, but luckily as a back up (and for nostalgic purposes) I also purchased a gingerbread man and that my friends was softer than a babies nappy leftovers. It was amazing.

This is my personal apology to Gregg's. I am very sorry Gregg's. You have indeed improved, and I plan to be a customer of your damned fine sandwiches.

Again many apologies for the absence. Been very busy sorting out my Uni stuff and whatnot. Hope you are all well. I have enclosed an amazing song by “THE TUSS” AKA Richard D James better known as Aphex Twin/Polygon Window/AFX/Caustic Window ect... I know its confusing.

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The Cheese Baron

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:44:52 +0200

Here's a short video me and my friends farted out today in about an hour.

An hour to film and a decade to edit.
I haven't posted up a video in a while so i thought i might as well make it one of my own!
Don't judge it too harshly, it was just us getting up to some shenanigans

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I'm Back! + Canary Wharf

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:35:43 +0200

I'm Back!

“Did he even leave? I don't remember!” Yes I did leave. Well, I didn't “Leave” but I didn't log on for a while, and I had about 20 personal messages (most of which weren't that personal) and “140 new posts” which I don't even bother deleting now just because of the ridiculous speed in which they update.

I know that out of a majority of the bloggers on here I am not the most prolific. I don't update often and I disappear for months on end. It's not because I hate you all. It's because due to certain problems in life (I wont go into what they are, we all got enough) I kind of have a miniature breakdown where I cant face my computer let a lone think of anything to write about. I sit on my sofa all day while watching mind numbing daytime TV shows and Community created content channels while all the time brooding in a pathetic hatred at every ad-break. When things all die down I can clear my head and get back to thinking normally. I can start writing my graphic novel again and various other projects and then in the gaps in-between I can start doing blogs about things.

Just thought I would explain all my absences.

At the moment I don't feel like being negative about anything. I just got out of that. So just an update today then yeah?

Well, I'm off to Uni in September. That is now official. But come children, Gather round as I tell you the tale of how I got my student Account at NatWest …

It all started when my brain decided NatWest was the bank for me. Disillusioned with Nationwide and their reluctance to give me a debit card to use on internet purchases I felt that as I was coming into some money (my student loan) it would be wise to turn my back on them. Also NatWest's offer of a free 5 year 30% off student rail card sealed the deal.

So off I went to open my account. I was up Canary Wharf with a friend (More on the Wharf later) so I decided I might as well do it in their branch. I lined up for about 15 minutes before being seen by a short, late twenty something bagel of woman with a face that screamed “I don't want to speak to you!” I told her : “Hello there, I would like to open a student account please” and she informed me “We're too busy today, you'll have to go to the London Bridge branch” It didn't look busy. No time for unsuited students I suppose. So off we go to London Bridge where I am greeted by a man who looked a few months younger than me. After a long wait he informed me that I didn't have the correct forms. Apparently they were all correct, except they didn't say how long the course was so my student account was denied. I pointed him towards the actual specification to what I needed to bring in their actual student account leaflet/booklet guide. I showed him how it didn't state this and if it was such a problem perhaps they should consider changing it. I didn't get my student account that day.

After a couple of days I ventured somewhere more local (Bromley) and opened my student account in their NatWest. Funnily enough the staff were much friendlier and I got accepted straight away despite having less documents than before. After signing my embarrassingly unpractised and highly forge-able signature I left proud with my pathetic and simple banking venture. I am not cut out for the Business lifestyle, which brings me back around to Canary Wharf, a place I will never understand. Separate from the rest of the country and more sterile than a surgeons sausage, its hectic, suited and pretentious air gets to me after about 15 minutes. There's only so much barging one person can take. It also saddens me that so much work is done to ensure its cleanliness but the rest of the city has such terrible litter problems and homelessness.

So yeah, sorry that I haven't been on here for a long time again. I won't promise that I'll try, because I probably won't. But I'll grace you with a blog whenever it suits me basically. If anyone does want to communicate with me at any time though you're all free to email me or Private message me.

Hope you are all well

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what...the...FUCK!!!!

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:13:03 +0200

I haven't been on for a while, I know that (but them's are personal t'ings)

I just thought i would come on here now and announce:

What the fuck...

...is with all these heart attacks lately?!

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Breakfast-Club-s-John-Hughes-Dead-At-59-14256.html

Thats right, the amazing director John Hughes is dead!

Michael Jackson's death didn't affect me but this has royally pissed me off!

I WILL be watching the breakfast club tomorrow.

R.I.P john Hughes. Probably wont get one thousandth of the attention MJ did and its fucking unfair.

"Dont you forget about me"

We won't John

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Album Update

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:49:24 +0200

Quick Update

You can now download the entire album all at once here:

http://cid-83919c46a065e03b.skydrive.live.com/browse.aspx/Helbm1%20-%20Dave%20Ives?lc=2057

It took me all day to figure out how though.

Its .RAR

Hazaar!

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Free Album!

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:34:40 +0200

Right, its been a work in progress for a long time now.

My debut electronica album is out today!

For free download no less!

You can download it track by track here: http://www.last.fm/music/daveives/Helbm+1

Would love to hear what you all think of it!

(Best listened to in the dark...its where it was written)

Also here's me : Blog.co.uk exclusive!

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U.F.Os & Deja Vu

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:39:32 +0200

The truth is out there.

I am a huge X-Files fan. Most people who know me know that. But most people who know me also know I am not easily taken in by conspiracy or paranormal things without a substantial amount of evidence. When it comes down to Religion I always feel like there is essentially no evidence for most things stated therefore believing in it isn't a good way for me to go.

But aliens?

Now I'm not about to destroy all my credibility by stating I believe in aliens. I actually hate the word "belief" People always say "I believe in this" or "I believe in that" but what the hell does that actually mean? It certainly doesn't mean you KNOW anything. I could say that I believe the universe is actually a giant glass of water and our planet is a meatball floating in it, but that doesn't do anything for anybody does it.

The thing about paranormal activity is its so vague. You have ghosts, aliens, big foot, nessie, El Chupacabre and God knows what else, so although I won't actually say I "believe" in any of these things, I WILL say that i find certain aspects of all of them interesting.

As human beings there is a lot we don't understand, but for me the concept of U.F.Os seems the most likely.

The only reason i say this though is because for me personally the thought of a infinite universe where the only intelligent life is here on Earth is a very, very depressing one. It also seems a bit arrogant to presume we are the centre of the Galaxy just because we invented the light bulb.

Just remember I'm not saying "I Believe" Okay Mulder?

I'm very much on Scully's side when it comes to this. I keep an open mind but try and not jump to any rash conclusions.

But i think it is fair to say that most people in their lives have experienced something big or small that they can't quite explain, and for a lot of people it drives them crazy.

For me the main offender is Deja Vu and my dreams, and i have to say i have very strong feelings about them. The way they make me feel especially Deja Vu is more than irregular. For me Deja Vu is like that "unnamed feeling" its like a mix of sickness, confusion, mystery, joy, longing and dissapointment. You feel like you have lived something before and can even at times predict the next things that happen but the sequence continues too quickly for you to actually say them to prove its happened. Also it can happen at the worst time, say when you're in the shower or getting on the bus and there's no one to tell.

I'm off track now. I was originally talking about U.F.Os.

I have definitely seen a UFO. That doesn't mean i have definitely seen an alien, but i have seen an aircraft i couldn't explain.

Also about 2 nights ago i woke up at around 4 am and remember in the half asleep daze seeing that my windows were unnaturally blue. Now i don't want to go too much into this one because it holds no water really, but i try to base everything off of how it makes me feel and this made me feel uneasy. it was too early for light, especially of this brightness. Needless to say it creeped me out. But being the lazy fat cunt i am, i just went back to sleep. Got no time for probes.

Anyhoo, the point of this was to ask for all your perspectives on the cases of U.F.Os or Deja Vu (or any other paranormal shit you think you have seen)

Just let me know!

Comments

Fairy man

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:20:00 +0200

Behold, for Brighten Call-eth!

That's correct folks, on Saturday I spent the day in Brighton in Hove and before you say anything, Yes, I am aware I was there only but a few months ago but I gotta admit to you folks, I find myself wanting to go there more and more often.

Me and my girlfriend set the alarm for 8am Saturday morning and were awoken to the shrill, bossy, Female voice of my Mobile phone informing me “The time is Eight AM, Time to get up!” That's right, it actually says the time AND shouts “Time to get up!” all in a Northern accent no less. Well we hauled ourselves out of bed and after a healthy breakfast (A chicken sandwich) we made our way to the train station. The last time we went we travelled by National Express coach which I highly recommend. It costs £1 there are £1 back and it really is the easiest way to travel, but seeing as we were only going for a day, we wanted to get as much time in as possible so we opted for the old fashioned train. £21 later, and we are on our way to Brighton.

After falling asleep on the pink train I awoke to find myself one stop from Brighton station. When we got off the train it was pissing down and the skies were grey. Depressing? Not at all. The thing I notice about Brighton is, despite the greyness of the skies, the place is still the most colourful of all places I have visited (and I'm not just talking about gay pride flags) There's this strange upbeat mood about as people carry on doing what they do knowing it will probably clear up by midday. It's a very multicultural place, and I really don't know where London gets its title as the most multicultural place in England because I really think Brighton gives it a run for its money.

Because the weather wasn't at its best we just explored the town. Through “the lanes” and various shops there's a lot to be found. Its all pretty alien actually. We walked through a free “Test your Aura” centre. It wasn't really my scene though. Maybe a bit too “far out” for me, but it was fun to see. We went in a lot of “tat” shops and for some reason they all have “I love london” merchandise in them despite being no where near London. Then we had probably the best pizza's ever in Donatello's. If you're ever in Brighton go to Donatello's. You can get a 2 course mean for £6 and its wicked. On the way back to meet some friends we found a little art exhibition made of paper called “the elephant bed” which was pretty cool.

After that we met up with out friends and went to a few pubs. We found a “Club” that had just recently “re opened” although it didn't look like much restoration work had been done. Its hard to find a pub in Brighton central that isn't a gay bar (not that we were looking) so we just presumed it was. It had very pretentious Banksy-esque artwork on the walls and the door had a pink banana on it. The soundtrack was hard underground electronica and apparently the “dance floor” was downstairs. Now I have seen some shoddy toilets in my time. I have been to “the Dirty South” in Lee Green, but until Saturday I had never been to a toilet with Saloon doors. After coming out of the OK Coral Toilets I decided to look at the “Dance floor” which turned out to be a black dungeon with some UV lights. As I ascended the stairs I was greeted at the top by a man of about 35 – 40 years in age wearing an orange tutu and tights. A real life Fairy man. Now despite what you may think, Brighton isn't actually as “gay” as everyone will have you believe, but this ladies and gentlemen may have been the gayest place we have visited so far. It was reasonably early in the day so we left that club and went to a quieter pub where we talked about movies and the like.

On the journey home I couldn't help but think that Brighton was the exact kind of place I would like to live someday. I love London, don't get me wrong. But after living here for 19 years you kind of want something different. For me Brighton has the perfect City to Beach ratio you could want. It has a great high-street with all the consumer focused shit a Londoner like myself needs along with a great stone beach and pier thats literally right around the corner for when you want to get away from it all and the best thing about it is that if you never turned that corner you wouldn't even know the high-street is there.

So in the short, if you want somewhere great to go in England, go to Brighton. Just go by National Express and not extortionate train. You Could literally go 11 more times in National Express for the price of a 1 day return on the British Rail.

Just beware that Fairy man. Don't enter the club with the pink banana on the door.

Comments

I'm a shit

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:08:11 +0200

I'm a shit i know. I never come on here any more really. I've gone and abandoned you all for the devils anus that is Twitter!

NO! never! i could never abandon you all! I wouldn't. I'm still here! I have just been pretty busy, and because of that not had time to think of anything good to write about on here. The thing about Twitter is that you can post things without thinking. So while I'm sitting at my computer screen trying my hardest to progress on my screenplay and get my mind to actually generate something of any sense, i can take a break and inform all my 13 followers exactly what it is i am doing at that precise moment which is usually "Updating my twitter" for some reason. Creative no?

Basically what I'm trying to say is this site is too good to fill with shit like that. I've not abandoned you all, I have just had nothing of any interest to write on here, and i don't like to update it without anything of any value.

BUT if you are at all interested in my non filtered thoughts then do check out my Twitter at : www.twitter.com/fattymombassa

But don't hold your breathe.

I hope i will find something of interest to write about on here soon.

In the meantime i seriously suggest you watch "Stewart Lee's comedy Vehicle" on the internet somewhere (its all on youtube) and watch "Psychoville" The new comedy drama series by 2 of the 4 league of gentlemen guys Reece Sheersmith and Steve Pemberton. I advise you view it from episode 1 somewhere on the web because it is an ongoing series and if you start now you'll be lost i assure you.

Thanks!

Comments

Michael Jackson is Dead

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:53:10 +0200

Here it is. Michael Jackson is dead. The thing everyone knew would happen eventually but never thought it would happen yet...

...The only reason i say this is because he was such a martyr already. He didn't even need death to be huge, he already was. This blog is in no was a disrespect to him dying. I'm not glad about it however I'm in no way mourning.

I was never a huge fan of Michael Jackson's music (give or take some songs) or his general commercial status (Pepsi and so on) or his obvious God complex. But one thing is for sure, the man was huge. He meant a lot to a lot of people (and he meant too much to others, like those guys that collect his bogeys at concerts and get their own nose jobs to look like him) And that's why I'm writing this, because i may or may not be responsible for the death of Michael Jackson (depending on what you believe)

The other day me and my friend were walking to the shop discussing Michael Jackson. We were harmlessly (or so it seemed) discussing what it would be like if Michael Jackson were to die. Not just because of his upcoming tour but just in general because of the sheer dedication from his fans. All I'm saying is I'm sure Michael Jackson has a bigger fan base than Diana originally did, so we need to prepare for a mourning overload...and possibly a fountain.

So if you happen to believe in the possibility of Jinxing somebody, then you could say I might have had something to do with it all.

Anyway, i'm in no way am claiming i am glad he's dead. I'm not. He was an amazing singer and performer and he's going to be missed by many fans and obviously his family (who i can't speak for) It's quite a shocking thing when you find out a favourite musical artist has died. You feel sad, and you feel strange but at the same time you don't ever want to cross over into mourning because its just not realistic to mourn as you would for a family member or friend. Its weird. You never actually knew this person.

Never the less, he will be missed by a lot of people.

Comments

Euthanasia

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:09:52 +0200

I read an article in the London Paper regarding Euthanasia today. It got me really annoyed. Apparently, if you help somebody commit Euthanasia, you can face up to 15 years in prison. What kind of backward way of thinking is this? It makes about as much sense as locking up drug addicts. It doesn't help people.

In my opinion, if someone wants to die they should be allowed to. If its a case of manic depression then yes theres no reason why psychiatric help couldn't be recommended. If its purely because life isn't going you're way at that particular time but theres a possibility of it all turning around then perhaps, suicide isn't your last option but, one thing that cant be cured with the likes of psychiatry is say … a terminal disease, or perhaps arguably worse, a life hindering disease that may render you immobile and vastly unhappy with your living condition. If someone decides that this was not their intended and preferred way of living I think its all within their own power to do something about it.

I think the thing that gets me angriest is the pure audacity of the government, just handing out laws to suit their own “moral” motives. Who is to truly say whats moral and whats not? The church? Aren't they supposed to stay out of politics? This is even more unjust than the abortion debate because theres surely no argument here. You are dealing with one body. Yours. And as for “assisted suicide” as they so carefully put it, its a consensual thing between 2 people who obviously care a great deal about each other to have the strength to go through with such a thing. We are all for nurses turning off life support machines in hospitals, but when it comes to choosing whats best for yourself there seems to be some huge taboo. We are all for getting our bodies pumped full of morphine and painkillers but when it comes to self medicated “illegal” drugs we don't seem tog et a choice.

If we don't have power over our country as individuals I would have thought we would still be allowed power over our own bodies.

If I want to stick a heroin needle into my eyeball, then I should be damn well allowed to. Its all very “sweet” that the government “cares” about us enough to FORCE us into submitting to their laws like Jack Nicholson being strapped into his bed and given harsh electroshock therapy in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, but I would prefer not to turn out like he does at the end, vastly in need of euthanasia.

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Censored for the Kids

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 23:31:50 +0200

I been thinking a lot recently about censorship. Well actually I think about it quite often, but today its been a little more than usual.

Anyone who knows me will probably also know that I am very anti censorship. A lot of the time when people hear you are against it they will accuse you of being selfish because they think I don't care about what children have access to on the television but I think if people really “have” to censor things on TV they are choosing the wrong content to manipulate. Too much focus is on swearing and graphic imagery. As far as swearing goes, words are just words at the end of the day no swear word has ever physically hurt anyone. In terms of graphic imagery most people are desensitised and even most 7 year olds can tell you whats real and whats not on television and in films. As far as high school shootings go, I think if you feel the need to blame a piece of media as apposed to your child's blatant yet obviously overlooked mental instabilities you should be questioning your parenting skills rather than if your child listens to Marlyn Manson. When I switch on the television every couple of months or so, the thing I see that deserves censoring isn't the word “fuck” but more the shallow and brainwashing nature of MTV produced programming and reality television. Now I'm in no way stating these “should” be censored. I just think they deserve it a little more. In terms of damaging your children these things have a bigger and more long term impact.

But why all the censorship towards adults? It always amazes me when news reports on war censor the images of the destruction. Not to want to sound sick or anything, dead bodies aren't exactly my number one thing to see on television (you would never get me to the bodyworlds exhibit) but I cant help but feel slightly insulted and molly coddled when it comes to that particular front. I think too often the censor companies use children as an excuse for everything they do. “Won't someone think of the children” ect.

War is a horrible thing. It should be reported accurately as such. I can handle it. I know I can. I won't enjoy it, but at least I wont feel like I have been wrapped in a warm blanket of white lies and tucked into bed to dream about how peaceful the world is.

Next Blog Subject: Army Recruitment Advertising

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Frustrated as Fuck

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:20:43 +0200

As I am sure you have gathered by the title, I am frustrated as Fuck. If you can even technically be as frustrated as a “fuck”? Yeah, I suppose you can be. Well I fucking am for fuck's fucking sake.

I am frustrated with mobile phones. Not other peoples though. Mine. Its a fucking piece of shit. Its been giving me real troubles for the past couple of weeks. For some reason the lame little “touch sensitive” buttons under the screen have decided to only work when they want. This wouldn't be a problem if they didn't control access to ALL FUCKING MENUS on the phone. Today they finally decided to completely pack up and it couldn't be worse timing. I went out and got a special sim-card for calling abroad because my girlfriend is in Morocco at the moment and now I cant call her. What's more I bought a £10 top up voucher today as well and I swear to fuck it was on my fucking bed about 20 fucking minutes ago. Now where the fuck is it? I have no fucking clue. I know they expire in 24 fucking hours and now I feel like a fucking character in a bad fucking cop film who only has 24 fucking hours to defuse a fucking bomb. Fuck!!! AHHG!

Sorry about that, I really needed to vent the frustration because otherwise I might snap the phone in half, the flimsy, cheap, self expiring piece of Samsung turd. Is it just me or does Samsung really suck? My friend bought 2 Samsung cameras from Argos and both were faulty.

Well I'm going to march to Orange tomorrow and buy the cheapest pay as you go phone I can. I have never liked phones, never liked their cameras, never liked their designs, never liked their ringtones and I never fucking well will.

On a lighter note, I bought the book “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea” today and have just about read the first chapter. It really is great considering it was written about 100 years ago. 39 pence in my local charity shop? Bargain.

So I suppose there was a slight upside to this fucking fucker of a fucking day ...

... Fuck!

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Fuck it!

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 20:29:51 +0200

Sometimes in your life you have to say “Fuck it” Some people say “fuck it” on a regular basis. This isn't good. You cant over use your “Fuck it”'S. You don't have an unlimited supply of them. I unfortunately am one of those people who hasn't used a lot of their “Fuck it”'S. I have quite a few left but haven't used many maybe because I think too much. Over analyse. Who knows.

I used one a few months ago when I decided to quit the JSA. It wasn't a huge “Fuck it” but it was a “Fuck it” none the less. They wanted to put me on a 13 week course and I said “Fuck it, I'll have to go without the money” Because for some reason these Job Seeker's Plus people presume that because you're unemployed you also have absolutely no life at all and no other commitments than getting a job. The course was 5 days a week 9 – 5 for 13 weeks. I won't go into huge detail about certain commitments I have at home but lets just say that a so called “course” where all you do is search for jobs in old newspapers and on-line didn't seem to take priority over said commitments. I'm struggling financially at the moment but I do have an iota of pride left.

My most recent “Fuck it” though was regarding education. The past year has been my naïve “I'll take a year out education and get a job” year. I did indeed take a year out of education however the latter part was not as successful. One positive though, was that the year out gave me some time to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I have always loved music and did a course on it for 2 years but I didn't feel fulfilled. I will always love music and write something new every day, but I felt that in terms of education I needed to turn my back on it. I feel like I have gone as far as I go with musical education without it depressing me. Granted, theres a lot more I could learn about music and maintaining a higher level of instrumental skill but after the 2 year course I felt like I had made a mistake.

I recently applied to a university course on the subject of “Film and television production” because I realised it was where I wanted to go in life. It made me feel bad though, like I was a traitor to music. I also feared people wouldn't take me seriously in it because I had never shown any educational interest in it. To be honest the only reason I didn't take it at school was because my school wasn't renound for it and it was considered a bit of a cop out subject. But when I received a letter informing me I had an unconditional place at the University I finally thought “Fuck it” and went for it. I'm starting in September.

Music is definitely not forgotten for me though. How could it be? It's my life. I cant pretend and tell you between film and music one is more important than the other because its not true. I love both, and I will always work with one or the other, or even simultaneously. I will continue to write music and I will continue to make films. Then I will make music for films and then I will make videos for music. Then I will write things. A book, a script, a play, a poem who knows? I think the main thing I'm trying to get across here is I hate the way we are always made to choose. “You can either do this, or this.”

Well what if I want to do it all?

Fuck it.

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It's a Conspiracy!

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:50:22 +0200

A common cold is like an annoying uncle that you only see every couple of months. When he sees you he grabs you by the shoulder and playfully roughs you up a bit. Hay-fever however is like an uncle who is also a sex offender. He comes to live with you in the summer and wont leave you alone. He wakes you up in the middle of the night and then you need to find tissues. Okay, I have never had an uncle like that. I'm talking absolute shit again. What a horrible simile. I apologise. No offense intended. To be honest I'm a bit delirious from the hay-fever I have and can hardly see. I have my glasses on in a half hearted effort to avert the flow of pollen away from my eye spheres. With the force I'm rubbing my eyes I'm surprised they haven't popped.

I came up with a theory. Its a conspiracy. Its the only explination. The government surely has giant machines that shoot out copious amounts of extra pollen into the air to bring people to their knees (right before voting day no less!) am I onto something? I don't know.

Sorry again or the terrible anecdote comparing simple hay-fever to the seriousness of being molested by a family member. I can't for the life of me figure out why I kept it in.

Also after watching 2 seasons of The Sopranos I have adopted some form of Italian American Mafioso accent. Is this healthy? I think I may have a serious problem. Tony Soprano shouldn't be a role model to me, but hes so damn cool! I can't be alone in this.

Speak to ya soon ya gavotz

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Bulls, Horses and Christian Parties

Fri, 29 May 2009 19:43:51 +0200

Recently in the news a bullfighter was impaled by an angry bull. Now I'm no animal rights activist. I like animals. Most people do. I just don't think they quite share our rights specifically, but hey I'm a selfish prick. Lets just say I'm not becoming a vegetarian anytime soon. But as I was saying, although I'm obviously no animal rights activist I have to say I think this is probably the best news I have read in a while. It's about time the Bull showed those goofy hat wearing tarts who is boss...although obviously after every match the Bull receives a sharp letter opener to the frontal lobe. Apparently though that bull fighter is in critical condition at hospital and the Bull is dead., What a wimp. I mean really, hospital? That bull had 6 sharp spikes in its back and it still managed to fuck you up. I hope he doesn't die though. Not because I care about him because I really don't, he just doesn't deserve a death by the Bull's hand...hoof...foot, whatever. Its a cooler quote when used in gangs of new York.

In other animal related news I saw a police horse today...Shitting all over the road. literally shitting every 10 feet. Firstly what the hell do they feed these grotesquely huge headed freaks? And secondly what's with these double standards? A dog owner can get fined up to £500 for “fouling on the foot-way” and a police horse can just release its guts all over the road for all upcoming cars to enjoy over their wheels and bumper. Not to mention trying to cross the road itself.

Last thing I saw today was a sign that said “now that Labour have messed up the country, vote Christian Party. Good, honest, family promoting Christian people” I'm not going to go into a major religion rant but what the hell? Maybe I'm just slow but I didn't even know there WAS a Christian Party. What a crap party that must be. No thanks.

See there was another blog coming! More soon.

See Ya

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Failed Friend Requests

Sun, 17 May 2009 23:34:28 +0200

Lets face it. I don't know any of you people on here personally. There isn't one person on this site that I know in real life, yet there are still a majority of people that read my blog. For me that's a nice sentiment and a sort of compliment. It proves people aren't just reading them to know what's going on in my life (because you don't really know me) but some people might be reading them because they actually enjoy them? If that's true then that's cool and I'm glad. So naturally every now and then I go through the “new users” section and send out a couple of friend requests to not only invite people to read my stuff but also to open up the possibility of finding some other people's writing to enjoy.

But it really stumps me when I get a message back along the lines of: “Hey, you sent me a friend invite. Do I know you? Why do you want to be my friend?”

Well firstly, I obviously don't know you. The purpose of the “friend” invite is to essentially “invite” you to be my “friend”

Also, while we are on the subject of “friends” I would have thought it was pretty obvious that if you click “accept invitation” we aren't going to become instant friends. On the internet the word “friend” is one of the loosest expressions since “LOL” It essentially means nothing. All its saying is that you're on my “friends list” and therefore have access to being notified when I have written something new. I think most people on here would agree that calling each other “friends” is a bit of a lie. There's no doubt that there are some people on here I communicate to more than others. Nice words are exchanged and there are without a doubt some really interesting, clever, friendly people on here that always leave me comments and I really like (you know who you are) But I don't think you're technically a friend to someone until you have at least met in real life. Maybe I'm old fashioned?

So if you want to decline my friend request that is obviously absolutely fine. I don't care if you don't like my writing but I think some people take the term “Friend” a little too literally on this here internet. Also I don't understand why you wouldn't want people reading your public blog? Surely live journal is more the place for you?

Anyway, that's my rant over for today.

BYE!

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I hate football

Thu, 14 May 2009 21:31:10 +0200

Why whenever a distant family member I haven't seen in a long time or say, the parents of a new friend meet me do they always ask me the same question?

“What Football team do you support?”

This question always leaves me feeling slightly angry but not surprised. Surely the appropriate question to ask somebody would be a simple “Do you like football?” I can handle that. It's annoying but at least its not presumptuous. To straight away presume I like football shows that to them, in their universe, football is the defining aspect of what makes someone conversation material. Because after all, EVERYONE likes football. You would be mad not to enjoy the painful repetition of seeing a ball fly up and down a green field for over 90 minutes. And who doesn't love keeping track of score boards? Those channels which don't show any football clips but only show the scores … Nothing gets me more turned on than that sports announcer's voice. “Everton : 1, Northerhampton : Nil.”

And besides, everyone knows that if your male and you don't like football … well your obviously homosexual. If not a “poofter” then surely a bit effeminate to say the least?

If you like football, then that's fine. Good for you. I like the directing style of Stanley Kubrick but I don't come up to you and ask you “What's your favourite Kubrick film?” when you probably don't even know who he is … because chances are you're uneducated like ALL football fans.

See I can be presumptuous too you arrogant cock.

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Synecdoche, New York

Tue, 12 May 2009 03:02:27 +0200

Why does it always seem like such a ridiculously long time until I see a film that blows my mind? Don't get me wrong, I have seen a lot of great films over the years but it's been a real long time since i have seen something that has put my jaw to the ground. Out of the movies I have seen this year so far, Coraline was my contender for best film however I have just seen Charlie Kaufman's “Synecdoche, New York” and it has frazzled my mind.

I wasn't the hugest fan of “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” and It took me a little while to get into “being John Malkovich” but “Synecdoche, New York” is definitely different...its still confusing as shit but in the best way possible. I don't really want to review this film as reviewing isn't really my thing and as this is my second blog in 3 days that is on the verge of a review I will keep it brief, but I will say this; If there is one film you NEED to see, its “Synecdoche, New York” Its so original that I'm lost for words. You will have to forgive my crap description of the film but I am writing this literally just after seeing it and I haven't come down off of the emotion it has put me on … whatever that emotion is. It's that one you cant describe, you know the one. The one where the centre of your chest feels tingly and weird and doesn't so much feel like a feeling as it does a resination of all your feelings at once and a displacement of various different memories all coming to light at once which only manages to confuse the fuck out of you. But its a weird mix of confusion and absolute understanding that by the end of the film you seem to know everything and nothing.

In case you didn't guess, the movie is a trip. I don't want to say anything else because I don't want to ruin anything or confuse you before you've seen it. So I'm going to stop right here and give you some time to see it …

… go on then. What are you waiting for?

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HBO

Mon, 11 May 2009 01:12:53 +0200

I'm quite well known for not being a big fan of American television. I love a lot American cinema so its not a cultural prejudice, its just all in all I find American television to be a bit mindless. That's not to suggest that we don't have our fair share of shite but in most cases that tends to be when we try and simulate the well known US format for a sitcom. Whether America invented the sitcom or not, that's another issue but I'm pretty sure they succeeded in perfecting its lame format.

That being said then, you can understand my surprise when I discovered HBO. I don't remember exactly what the first HBO show I saw was but it was between “Tenacious D” or “Curb your Enthusiasm” Although both shows aren't particularly amazing in my opinion they were good enough to get my attention and literally make me laugh out loud which up till that point I had rarely done when US TV was involved.

I have always had a fear though, of long series...es. Films are a medium I can understand. Roughly 2 hours long, taken years to produce and are of high quality. But a series like “LOST” was something that confused me. Not just because of its pathetic and irrational story lines but because of its episode count for a series and the episodes length. The same can be said about ugly Betty. I believe the episodes were around 40 minutes long each and per series there were about 24. 24 episodes? That's about 11 movies worth of material and I had no idea how they could do it. I used to think it brought the quality of a show (writing, acting, directing ect.) to a lower standard … until I saw “Angels in America”

Angels in America is a HBO production starring Al Pacino and Merrill Streep based on a Broadway play of the same name that deals with Aids in the 1980's. It wasn't so much a series as it was a “mini series” which is basically a really long film … six hours to be precise. But they are an amazing six hours that I would recommend to anyone. I don't want to go too much into it as I'm not reviewing it.

Recently I decided to start watching “The Sopranos” as due to my fear of long series...es, I had missed the boat when it was popular. I am only half way through the first series but I can honestly say it's one of the best American shows I have ever seen. It's like a really good Mafia film that never ends, which when you're watching a good movie you don't want it to.

I just felt compelled to write this so I could let America know that I formally forgive it for its barrage of crap sitcoms and day time talk shows. I will also go so far as to say I forgive it for its frankly terrible pilot episodes of “remade” British comedy shows like Red Dwarf and the strangely successful “The Office” remake which I never cared for.

Just remember America, HBO saved your “ass”

But if you ever think about trying to remake a beloved comedy like SPACED again, not even HBO can save you from what I might do ...

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I Forget ...

Tue, 05 May 2009 23:54:45 +0200

I am only 18 years old. I am pretty sure my memory isn't supposed to be as bad as it is. It really is terrible. Just a short while ago I was sitting at my desk trying to remember what it was I was going to be writing about tonight. It took me five whole minutes to actually remember, despite planning the blog in my head earlier today. Ironically the blog in question was going to be about my memory. That isn't even supposed to be a snappy little joke highlighting the overall point of the blog by indicating I have forgotten something. I usually save stuff like that till the end of the blog to round It off. I actually forgot. I am genuinely worried about my memory.

I do this thing pretty much everyday, which often goes a little something like this:

“I'm going to watch a DVD … I think I will watch Brasseye … I'll just try and find it”

Then I look for the DVD

“Wait, what am I looking for again?”

Then generally I have to pause for a couple of minutes literally retracing my mental steps until I manage to remember, but usually when this happens, actually remembering something seems like more hard work than it should be.

I am not a hypochondriac. I don't think I have alzheimer's at 18. I just wouldn't be entirely surprised if I turned out to have some kind of memory deficiency in middle age.

The main reason I think this is because …

erm …

...I forgot what I was talking about ... Sorry

(told you I saved it till the end usually)

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This is a shit Blog

Fri, 01 May 2009 12:11:09 +0200

Just so you know, this is going to be a really shit blog entry. Remember when i said i was going to try and write something almost every day? well i am. Unfortunately today i have nothing to write about. So what am i even doing here? i don't know.

As i write this its just turned 12 so i don't feel too dirty about being online so early. Its pretty sunny out and as usual birds are making their noises, which they never seem to not be doing. I have decided to designate my day to writing a script for a short film i want to shoot and use for part of a University portfolio if i get an interview. Strangely the Uni has sent be details on yearly fees before any info on whether they want me or not. I have been having a real writers block with it though and have been finding it hard to piece all my ideas together. Last night however ... well technically this morning around 4 am ... well the last time i was awake before i was asleep ... i managed to come up with some nice ideas in a tired stupor. They must have been good because i averted my original plan to watch a couple of X-Files episodes in favour of writing them.

There are still mass amounts of clothes and memorabilia from my recent trip to Brighton scattered around my floor. I should clean them up but whats the point? It's well organised mess. I have also just seen that this blog site is correcting my spelling of "favour" to "favor" and also my spelling of "ogranised" to "organized" which is pretty annoying. Due to Americanisms I'm not sure whether i am spelling things right/write or wrong anymore. i KNOW colour is spelled with a "U" regardless of that fucking red line.

I could have sworn this was www.Blog.co.UK!!!!

UK!!!!! being the main point there

Anyways, see ya tomorrow maybe

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