I have memories of “Greggs” the bakers. I have memories similar to my memories of KFC. I have memories of walking past it and getting the scent of steamed turds whofting up my nose holes. I have memories of going in there with my mum as a child and being overshadowed by the never changing 45-55 year old female staff offering the most putrid looking sausage rolls and pasties filled with old nappy waste (probably) I have memories of only ever wanting their ginger bread men. The taste of the ginger combined with the smartie created probably my first orgasm.

So you can imagine my confusion when a few days ago after registering for my University in Greenwich I decided to go in there. I don't know why I did it. I literally haven't stepped near them in about 7 years, but for some reason or another I decided to have a look. I took a chance ladies and gentlemen and bought their chicken and bacon salad sandwich with white seeded bread and what I'm about to say ladies and gentlemen is something I will never come to understand or fully accept. That sandwich was possibly the nicest sandwich I have ever eaten. It was perfect. Everything about it was amazing. The lettuce was crisp and fresh as was the warm soft bread. I felt empty after finishing it. I wanted another one, but luckily as a back up (and for nostalgic purposes) I also purchased a gingerbread man and that my friends was softer than a babies nappy leftovers. It was amazing.

This is my personal apology to Gregg's. I am very sorry Gregg's. You have indeed improved, and I plan to be a customer of your damned fine sandwiches.

Again many apologies for the absence. Been very busy sorting out my Uni stuff and whatnot. Hope you are all well. I have enclosed an amazing song by “THE TUSS” AKA Richard D James better known as Aphex Twin/Polygon Window/AFX/Caustic Window ect... I know its confusing.