Dave's Negative Blogs

Here it is. Michael Jackson is dead. The thing everyone knew would happen eventually but never thought it would happen yet...

...The only reason i say this is because he was such a martyr already. He didn't even need death to be huge, he already was. This blog is in no was a disrespect to him dying. I'm not glad about it however I'm in no way mourning.

I was never a huge fan of Michael Jackson's music (give or take some songs) or his general commercial status (Pepsi and so on) or his obvious God complex. But one thing is for sure, the man was huge. He meant a lot to a lot of people (and he meant too much to others, like those guys that collect his bogeys at concerts and get their own nose jobs to look like him) And that's why I'm writing this, because i may or may not be responsible for the death of Michael Jackson (depending on what you believe)

The other day me and my friend were walking to the shop discussing Michael Jackson. We were harmlessly (or so it seemed) discussing what it would be like if Michael Jackson were to die. Not just because of his upcoming tour but just in general because of the sheer dedication from his fans. All I'm saying is I'm sure Michael Jackson has a bigger fan base than Diana originally did, so we need to prepare for a mourning overload...and possibly a fountain.

So if you happen to believe in the possibility of Jinxing somebody, then you could say I might have had something to do with it all.

Anyway, i'm in no way am claiming i am glad he's dead. I'm not. He was an amazing singer and performer and he's going to be missed by many fans and obviously his family (who i can't speak for) It's quite a shocking thing when you find out a favourite musical artist has died. You feel sad, and you feel strange but at the same time you don't ever want to cross over into mourning because its just not realistic to mourn as you would for a family member or friend. Its weird. You never actually knew this person.

Never the less, he will be missed by a lot of people.

I read an article in the London Paper regarding Euthanasia today. It got me really annoyed. Apparently, if you help somebody commit Euthanasia, you can face up to 15 years in prison. What kind of backward way of thinking is this? It makes about as much sense as locking up drug addicts. It doesn't help people.

In my opinion, if someone wants to die they should be allowed to. If its a case of manic depression then yes theres no reason why psychiatric help couldn't be recommended. If its purely because life isn't going you're way at that particular time but theres a possibility of it all turning around then perhaps, suicide isn't your last option but, one thing that cant be cured with the likes of psychiatry is say … a terminal disease, or perhaps arguably worse, a life hindering disease that may render you immobile and vastly unhappy with your living condition. If someone decides that this was not their intended and preferred way of living I think its all within their own power to do something about it.

I think the thing that gets me angriest is the pure audacity of the government, just handing out laws to suit their own “moral” motives. Who is to truly say whats moral and whats not? The church? Aren't they supposed to stay out of politics? This is even more unjust than the abortion debate because theres surely no argument here. You are dealing with one body. Yours. And as for “assisted suicide” as they so carefully put it, its a consensual thing between 2 people who obviously care a great deal about each other to have the strength to go through with such a thing. We are all for nurses turning off life support machines in hospitals, but when it comes to choosing whats best for yourself there seems to be some huge taboo. We are all for getting our bodies pumped full of morphine and painkillers but when it comes to self medicated “illegal” drugs we don't seem tog et a choice.

If we don't have power over our country as individuals I would have thought we would still be allowed power over our own bodies.

If I want to stick a heroin needle into my eyeball, then I should be damn well allowed to. Its all very “sweet” that the government “cares” about us enough to FORCE us into submitting to their laws like Jack Nicholson being strapped into his bed and given harsh electroshock therapy in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, but I would prefer not to turn out like he does at the end, vastly in need of euthanasia.

I been thinking a lot recently about censorship. Well actually I think about it quite often, but today its been a little more than usual.

Anyone who knows me will probably also know that I am very anti censorship. A lot of the time when people hear you are against it they will accuse you of being selfish because they think I don't care about what children have access to on the television but I think if people really “have” to censor things on TV they are choosing the wrong content to manipulate. Too much focus is on swearing and graphic imagery. As far as swearing goes, words are just words at the end of the day no swear word has ever physically hurt anyone. In terms of graphic imagery most people are desensitised and even most 7 year olds can tell you whats real and whats not on television and in films. As far as high school shootings go, I think if you feel the need to blame a piece of media as apposed to your child's blatant yet obviously overlooked mental instabilities you should be questioning your parenting skills rather than if your child listens to Marlyn Manson. When I switch on the television every couple of months or so, the thing I see that deserves censoring isn't the word “fuck” but more the shallow and brainwashing nature of MTV produced programming and reality television. Now I'm in no way stating these “should” be censored. I just think they deserve it a little more. In terms of damaging your children these things have a bigger and more long term impact.

But why all the censorship towards adults? It always amazes me when news reports on war censor the images of the destruction. Not to want to sound sick or anything, dead bodies aren't exactly my number one thing to see on television (you would never get me to the bodyworlds exhibit) but I cant help but feel slightly insulted and molly coddled when it comes to that particular front. I think too often the censor companies use children as an excuse for everything they do. “Won't someone think of the children” ect.

War is a horrible thing. It should be reported accurately as such. I can handle it. I know I can. I won't enjoy it, but at least I wont feel like I have been wrapped in a warm blanket of white lies and tucked into bed to dream about how peaceful the world is.

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As I am sure you have gathered by the title, I am frustrated as Fuck. If you can even technically be as frustrated as a “fuck”? Yeah, I suppose you can be. Well I fucking am for fuck's fucking sake.

I am frustrated with mobile phones. Not other peoples though. Mine. Its a fucking piece of shit. Its been giving me real troubles for the past couple of weeks. For some reason the lame little “touch sensitive” buttons under the screen have decided to only work when they want. This wouldn't be a problem if they didn't control access to ALL FUCKING MENUS on the phone. Today they finally decided to completely pack up and it couldn't be worse timing. I went out and got a special sim-card for calling abroad because my girlfriend is in Morocco at the moment and now I cant call her. What's more I bought a £10 top up voucher today as well and I swear to fuck it was on my fucking bed about 20 fucking minutes ago. Now where the fuck is it? I have no fucking clue. I know they expire in 24 fucking hours and now I feel like a fucking character in a bad fucking cop film who only has 24 fucking hours to defuse a fucking bomb. Fuck!!! AHHG!

Sorry about that, I really needed to vent the frustration because otherwise I might snap the phone in half, the flimsy, cheap, self expiring piece of Samsung turd. Is it just me or does Samsung really suck? My friend bought 2 Samsung cameras from Argos and both were faulty.

Well I'm going to march to Orange tomorrow and buy the cheapest pay as you go phone I can. I have never liked phones, never liked their cameras, never liked their designs, never liked their ringtones and I never fucking well will.

On a lighter note, I bought the book “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea” today and have just about read the first chapter. It really is great considering it was written about 100 years ago. 39 pence in my local charity shop? Bargain.

So I suppose there was a slight upside to this fucking fucker of a fucking day ...

... Fuck!

Sometimes in your life you have to say “Fuck it” Some people say “fuck it” on a regular basis. This isn't good. You cant over use your “Fuck it”'S. You don't have an unlimited supply of them. I unfortunately am one of those people who hasn't used a lot of their “Fuck it”'S. I have quite a few left but haven't used many maybe because I think too much. Over analyse. Who knows.

I used one a few months ago when I decided to quit the JSA. It wasn't a huge “Fuck it” but it was a “Fuck it” none the less. They wanted to put me on a 13 week course and I said “Fuck it, I'll have to go without the money” Because for some reason these Job Seeker's Plus people presume that because you're unemployed you also have absolutely no life at all and no other commitments than getting a job. The course was 5 days a week 9 – 5 for 13 weeks. I won't go into huge detail about certain commitments I have at home but lets just say that a so called “course” where all you do is search for jobs in old newspapers and on-line didn't seem to take priority over said commitments. I'm struggling financially at the moment but I do have an iota of pride left.

My most recent “Fuck it” though was regarding education. The past year has been my naïve “I'll take a year out education and get a job” year. I did indeed take a year out of education however the latter part was not as successful. One positive though, was that the year out gave me some time to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I have always loved music and did a course on it for 2 years but I didn't feel fulfilled. I will always love music and write something new every day, but I felt that in terms of education I needed to turn my back on it. I feel like I have gone as far as I go with musical education without it depressing me. Granted, theres a lot more I could learn about music and maintaining a higher level of instrumental skill but after the 2 year course I felt like I had made a mistake.

I recently applied to a university course on the subject of “Film and television production” because I realised it was where I wanted to go in life. It made me feel bad though, like I was a traitor to music. I also feared people wouldn't take me seriously in it because I had never shown any educational interest in it. To be honest the only reason I didn't take it at school was because my school wasn't renound for it and it was considered a bit of a cop out subject. But when I received a letter informing me I had an unconditional place at the University I finally thought “Fuck it” and went for it. I'm starting in September.

Music is definitely not forgotten for me though. How could it be? It's my life. I cant pretend and tell you between film and music one is more important than the other because its not true. I love both, and I will always work with one or the other, or even simultaneously. I will continue to write music and I will continue to make films. Then I will make music for films and then I will make videos for music. Then I will write things. A book, a script, a play, a poem who knows? I think the main thing I'm trying to get across here is I hate the way we are always made to choose. “You can either do this, or this.”

Well what if I want to do it all?

Fuck it.

A common cold is like an annoying uncle that you only see every couple of months. When he sees you he grabs you by the shoulder and playfully roughs you up a bit. Hay-fever however is like an uncle who is also a sex offender. He comes to live with you in the summer and wont leave you alone. He wakes you up in the middle of the night and then you need to find tissues. Okay, I have never had an uncle like that. I'm talking absolute shit again. What a horrible simile. I apologise. No offense intended. To be honest I'm a bit delirious from the hay-fever I have and can hardly see. I have my glasses on in a half hearted effort to avert the flow of pollen away from my eye spheres. With the force I'm rubbing my eyes I'm surprised they haven't popped.

I came up with a theory. Its a conspiracy. Its the only explination. The government surely has giant machines that shoot out copious amounts of extra pollen into the air to bring people to their knees (right before voting day no less!) am I onto something? I don't know.

Sorry again or the terrible anecdote comparing simple hay-fever to the seriousness of being molested by a family member. I can't for the life of me figure out why I kept it in.

Also after watching 2 seasons of The Sopranos I have adopted some form of Italian American Mafioso accent. Is this healthy? I think I may have a serious problem. Tony Soprano shouldn't be a role model to me, but hes so damn cool! I can't be alone in this.

Speak to ya soon ya gavotz