Why whenever a distant family member I haven't seen in a long time or say, the parents of a new friend meet me do they always ask me the same question?
“What Football team do you support?”
This question always leaves me feeling slightly angry but not surprised. Surely the appropriate question to ask somebody would be a simple “Do you like football?” I can handle that. It's annoying but at least its not presumptuous. To straight away presume I like football shows that to them, in their universe, football is the defining aspect of what makes someone conversation material. Because after all, EVERYONE likes football. You would be mad not to enjoy the painful repetition of seeing a ball fly up and down a green field for over 90 minutes. And who doesn't love keeping track of score boards? Those channels which don't show any football clips but only show the scores … Nothing gets me more turned on than that sports announcer's voice. “Everton : 1, Northerhampton : Nil.”
And besides, everyone knows that if your male and you don't like football … well your obviously homosexual. If not a “poofter” then surely a bit effeminate to say the least?
If you like football, then that's fine. Good for you. I like the directing style of Stanley Kubrick but I don't come up to you and ask you “What's your favourite Kubrick film?” when you probably don't even know who he is … because chances are you're uneducated like ALL football fans.
See I can be presumptuous too you arrogant cock.
