Dave's Negative Blogs

Recently in the news a bullfighter was impaled by an angry bull. Now I'm no animal rights activist. I like animals. Most people do. I just don't think they quite share our rights specifically, but hey I'm a selfish prick. Lets just say I'm not becoming a vegetarian anytime soon. But as I was saying, although I'm obviously no animal rights activist I have to say I think this is probably the best news I have read in a while. It's about time the Bull showed those goofy hat wearing tarts who is boss...although obviously after every match the Bull receives a sharp letter opener to the frontal lobe. Apparently though that bull fighter is in critical condition at hospital and the Bull is dead., What a wimp. I mean really, hospital? That bull had 6 sharp spikes in its back and it still managed to fuck you up. I hope he doesn't die though. Not because I care about him because I really don't, he just doesn't deserve a death by the Bull's hand...hoof...foot, whatever. Its a cooler quote when used in gangs of new York.

In other animal related news I saw a police horse today...Shitting all over the road. literally shitting every 10 feet. Firstly what the hell do they feed these grotesquely huge headed freaks? And secondly what's with these double standards? A dog owner can get fined up to £500 for “fouling on the foot-way” and a police horse can just release its guts all over the road for all upcoming cars to enjoy over their wheels and bumper. Not to mention trying to cross the road itself.

Last thing I saw today was a sign that said “now that Labour have messed up the country, vote Christian Party. Good, honest, family promoting Christian people” I'm not going to go into a major religion rant but what the hell? Maybe I'm just slow but I didn't even know there WAS a Christian Party. What a crap party that must be. No thanks.

See there was another blog coming! More soon.

See Ya

Lets face it. I don't know any of you people on here personally. There isn't one person on this site that I know in real life, yet there are still a majority of people that read my blog. For me that's a nice sentiment and a sort of compliment. It proves people aren't just reading them to know what's going on in my life (because you don't really know me) but some people might be reading them because they actually enjoy them? If that's true then that's cool and I'm glad. So naturally every now and then I go through the “new users” section and send out a couple of friend requests to not only invite people to read my stuff but also to open up the possibility of finding some other people's writing to enjoy.

But it really stumps me when I get a message back along the lines of: “Hey, you sent me a friend invite. Do I know you? Why do you want to be my friend?”

Well firstly, I obviously don't know you. The purpose of the “friend” invite is to essentially “invite” you to be my “friend”

Also, while we are on the subject of “friends” I would have thought it was pretty obvious that if you click “accept invitation” we aren't going to become instant friends. On the internet the word “friend” is one of the loosest expressions since “LOL” It essentially means nothing. All its saying is that you're on my “friends list” and therefore have access to being notified when I have written something new. I think most people on here would agree that calling each other “friends” is a bit of a lie. There's no doubt that there are some people on here I communicate to more than others. Nice words are exchanged and there are without a doubt some really interesting, clever, friendly people on here that always leave me comments and I really like (you know who you are) But I don't think you're technically a friend to someone until you have at least met in real life. Maybe I'm old fashioned?

So if you want to decline my friend request that is obviously absolutely fine. I don't care if you don't like my writing but I think some people take the term “Friend” a little too literally on this here internet. Also I don't understand why you wouldn't want people reading your public blog? Surely live journal is more the place for you?

Anyway, that's my rant over for today.

BYE!

Why whenever a distant family member I haven't seen in a long time or say, the parents of a new friend meet me do they always ask me the same question?

“What Football team do you support?”

This question always leaves me feeling slightly angry but not surprised. Surely the appropriate question to ask somebody would be a simple “Do you like football?” I can handle that. It's annoying but at least its not presumptuous. To straight away presume I like football shows that to them, in their universe, football is the defining aspect of what makes someone conversation material. Because after all, EVERYONE likes football. You would be mad not to enjoy the painful repetition of seeing a ball fly up and down a green field for over 90 minutes. And who doesn't love keeping track of score boards? Those channels which don't show any football clips but only show the scores … Nothing gets me more turned on than that sports announcer's voice. “Everton : 1, Northerhampton : Nil.”

And besides, everyone knows that if your male and you don't like football … well your obviously homosexual. If not a “poofter” then surely a bit effeminate to say the least?

If you like football, then that's fine. Good for you. I like the directing style of Stanley Kubrick but I don't come up to you and ask you “What's your favourite Kubrick film?” when you probably don't even know who he is … because chances are you're uneducated like ALL football fans.

See I can be presumptuous too you arrogant cock.

Why does it always seem like such a ridiculously long time until I see a film that blows my mind? Don't get me wrong, I have seen a lot of great films over the years but it's been a real long time since i have seen something that has put my jaw to the ground. Out of the movies I have seen this year so far, Coraline was my contender for best film however I have just seen Charlie Kaufman's “Synecdoche, New York” and it has frazzled my mind.

I wasn't the hugest fan of “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” and It took me a little while to get into “being John Malkovich” but “Synecdoche, New York” is definitely different...its still confusing as shit but in the best way possible. I don't really want to review this film as reviewing isn't really my thing and as this is my second blog in 3 days that is on the verge of a review I will keep it brief, but I will say this; If there is one film you NEED to see, its “Synecdoche, New York” Its so original that I'm lost for words. You will have to forgive my crap description of the film but I am writing this literally just after seeing it and I haven't come down off of the emotion it has put me on … whatever that emotion is. It's that one you cant describe, you know the one. The one where the centre of your chest feels tingly and weird and doesn't so much feel like a feeling as it does a resination of all your feelings at once and a displacement of various different memories all coming to light at once which only manages to confuse the fuck out of you. But its a weird mix of confusion and absolute understanding that by the end of the film you seem to know everything and nothing.

In case you didn't guess, the movie is a trip. I don't want to say anything else because I don't want to ruin anything or confuse you before you've seen it. So I'm going to stop right here and give you some time to see it …

… go on then. What are you waiting for?

I'm quite well known for not being a big fan of American television. I love a lot American cinema so its not a cultural prejudice, its just all in all I find American television to be a bit mindless. That's not to suggest that we don't have our fair share of shite but in most cases that tends to be when we try and simulate the well known US format for a sitcom. Whether America invented the sitcom or not, that's another issue but I'm pretty sure they succeeded in perfecting its lame format.

That being said then, you can understand my surprise when I discovered HBO. I don't remember exactly what the first HBO show I saw was but it was between “Tenacious D” or “Curb your Enthusiasm” Although both shows aren't particularly amazing in my opinion they were good enough to get my attention and literally make me laugh out loud which up till that point I had rarely done when US TV was involved.

I have always had a fear though, of long series...es. Films are a medium I can understand. Roughly 2 hours long, taken years to produce and are of high quality. But a series like “LOST” was something that confused me. Not just because of its pathetic and irrational story lines but because of its episode count for a series and the episodes length. The same can be said about ugly Betty. I believe the episodes were around 40 minutes long each and per series there were about 24. 24 episodes? That's about 11 movies worth of material and I had no idea how they could do it. I used to think it brought the quality of a show (writing, acting, directing ect.) to a lower standard … until I saw “Angels in America”

Angels in America is a HBO production starring Al Pacino and Merrill Streep based on a Broadway play of the same name that deals with Aids in the 1980's. It wasn't so much a series as it was a “mini series” which is basically a really long film … six hours to be precise. But they are an amazing six hours that I would recommend to anyone. I don't want to go too much into it as I'm not reviewing it.

Recently I decided to start watching “The Sopranos” as due to my fear of long series...es, I had missed the boat when it was popular. I am only half way through the first series but I can honestly say it's one of the best American shows I have ever seen. It's like a really good Mafia film that never ends, which when you're watching a good movie you don't want it to.

I just felt compelled to write this so I could let America know that I formally forgive it for its barrage of crap sitcoms and day time talk shows. I will also go so far as to say I forgive it for its frankly terrible pilot episodes of “remade” British comedy shows like Red Dwarf and the strangely successful “The Office” remake which I never cared for.

Just remember America, HBO saved your “ass”

But if you ever think about trying to remake a beloved comedy like SPACED again, not even HBO can save you from what I might do ...

I am only 18 years old. I am pretty sure my memory isn't supposed to be as bad as it is. It really is terrible. Just a short while ago I was sitting at my desk trying to remember what it was I was going to be writing about tonight. It took me five whole minutes to actually remember, despite planning the blog in my head earlier today. Ironically the blog in question was going to be about my memory. That isn't even supposed to be a snappy little joke highlighting the overall point of the blog by indicating I have forgotten something. I usually save stuff like that till the end of the blog to round It off. I actually forgot. I am genuinely worried about my memory.

I do this thing pretty much everyday, which often goes a little something like this:

“I'm going to watch a DVD … I think I will watch Brasseye … I'll just try and find it”

Then I look for the DVD

“Wait, what am I looking for again?”

Then generally I have to pause for a couple of minutes literally retracing my mental steps until I manage to remember, but usually when this happens, actually remembering something seems like more hard work than it should be.

I am not a hypochondriac. I don't think I have alzheimer's at 18. I just wouldn't be entirely surprised if I turned out to have some kind of memory deficiency in middle age.

The main reason I think this is because …

erm …

...I forgot what I was talking about ... Sorry

(told you I saved it till the end usually)

Just so you know, this is going to be a really shit blog entry. Remember when i said i was going to try and write something almost every day? well i am. Unfortunately today i have nothing to write about. So what am i even doing here? i don't know.

As i write this its just turned 12 so i don't feel too dirty about being online so early. Its pretty sunny out and as usual birds are making their noises, which they never seem to not be doing. I have decided to designate my day to writing a script for a short film i want to shoot and use for part of a University portfolio if i get an interview. Strangely the Uni has sent be details on yearly fees before any info on whether they want me or not. I have been having a real writers block with it though and have been finding it hard to piece all my ideas together. Last night however ... well technically this morning around 4 am ... well the last time i was awake before i was asleep ... i managed to come up with some nice ideas in a tired stupor. They must have been good because i averted my original plan to watch a couple of X-Files episodes in favour of writing them.

There are still mass amounts of clothes and memorabilia from my recent trip to Brighton scattered around my floor. I should clean them up but whats the point? It's well organised mess. I have also just seen that this blog site is correcting my spelling of "favour" to "favor" and also my spelling of "ogranised" to "organized" which is pretty annoying. Due to Americanisms I'm not sure whether i am spelling things right/write or wrong anymore. i KNOW colour is spelled with a "U" regardless of that fucking red line.

I could have sworn this was www.Blog.co.UK!!!!

UK!!!!! being the main point there

Anyways, see ya tomorrow maybe