The job search has been slow. Okay, maybe thats an understatement. The job search has been terrible. There are no jobs in London. Its dry. Simple as. Its hard enough for the fully experienced finding a job so schmoes like me with no experience receive a virtual bitch slap from the Job search machines every week.
I have been thinking recently that I really want to get off of Job Seekers allowance. I think one of the main misconceptions there is about people claiming benefits is that they actually want to be. The bottom line is I DO want to do something with my life and £45 a week isn't a substantial amount of money to live on. Don't get me wrong it definitely helps but the sad truth is its just not enough. I have been thinking recently that perhaps the only way to get out of this slump is to bite the bullet and go back into education...The only problem is I want to study film. Why is this a problem? Well because I did G.C.S.E in music for 2 years and an extra 2 years doing a Btec in music. It doesn't exactly highlight my undying dedication to the art of film, the thing is I have had an unhealthy obsession with film pretty much my whole life. I think the only reason I didn't pursue it though was because of a fear of doing something that wouldn't get me anywhere. In secondary school doing “Media” can seem like a bit of a cop out, despite the fact it isn't. It's not to say I don't have an unhealthy obsession with music though, but I started to question whether I had wasted a few years studying music instead of doing what I truelly wanted to do, but then I thought that all experience is experience and music is a very important part of the pie that is media and an added knowledge of it can only improve my work? I find myself having a lot of creative ideas that I don't follow up because I have no drive to. Maybe if I had a push it would get me going properly.
I am also aware a lot of people regard it as an unrealistic goal, but to be honest if I don't end up doing something I love in life then I might as well just jump in front of a train. Life is too short to settle, and I doubt that 18 years old is too old to change direction. I have a Btec, I have a camera and I have some ideas so I'm going to give it a shot.
So hopefully soon you might see some creative things from me...
...Either that or someday you will talk to me through a call center and I will try to sell you some double glazing.
