Dave's Negative Blogs

Drag Queens for Charity

by Davidives @ 2009-10-31 – 00:40:14

I saw a very interesting American news report on the internet the other day. I’m not sure when it was broadcast but it didn’t seem too old. I’ll link it at the end.

It was about a group of drag queens/female impersonators, who were putting on a drag cabaret somewhere in a small Christian town to help raise money for breast cancer. Can you see where this is going? The “morally correct” Christian’s in the town decided that this was an abomination and threatened the drag queens informing them that if they went along with their sordid sinful shenanigans they would be beaten and possibly even burnt. One thing to also be noted is that this isn’t even a “loud drag queens riding into a small town in a convertible to shake up the place” scenario. These people are actually from the town themselves. It’s no “to Wong foo…”

So here’s what baffles me. I know its not the same for all Christians, but I would like to ask this to any Christian readers I might have; What is more important to you? Condemning something ultimately harmless like cross-dressing because of its “risk to corrupting youth” and ruining something amazingly good like raising money for breast cancer, or having a more relaxed attitude to you religion and realising that helping people with cancer is probably the greater good.

Here’s where it gets sort of confusing though. If you’re in favour of the latter option and think a more relaxed stance on your religion is appropriate then why do you actually even have a religion? To have a relaxed attitude towards your own religion is like having a relaxed attitude to building a house. If you don’t use every brick, it’s only going to fall down. Build the house right though, walk upstairs and then you’re closer to God. Again its this absurdity of picking and choosing.

So, here’s what I think. I think those hillbillies that protested that Breast Cancer charity are true Christians. In my eyes they are the definition of what a “good Christian” truly is. A good Christian is one that follows all the rules no matter how petty or dated. A good Christian is one that stones their disobedient child to death. A good Christian knows the benefits of slavery.

I didn’t want to do another rant-ish blog about religion for a long time, but I found my bible in a cupboard. Yes, I do own one. It was given to me free by my secondary school years ago. And yes, I did read it.

Please Christians, your thoughts.

It begins...

by Davidives @ 2009-10-22 – 00:20:26

Hello ladies and germs, hope you are all well.

Just a quick update on things

I am still at Uni! working hard, learning much. We are currently learning how to operate a studio live and our first single camera project is a music video, which is going pretty well. I'm co - directing.

Speaking of which i recently just bought a new camera. Its the Canon xm1 and i have to say im blown away. Heres a video of me fucking around with it. Some average camera work but hey, i had only had it 10 minutes.

It set me back £600, so thats my student funding completely wiped out now. Oh well, its an investment.

In other news have any of you seen the movie "A Room for Romeo Brass"? starring Paddy Consitine. Fucking hell, what an amazing performance. I really like Shane meadows films and Paddy Consitine, so i cant believe it's taken me so long to see this masterpiece.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it i highly reccomend it.

How are you all?

The Music Never Stops

by Davidives @ 2009-10-01 – 22:19:45

I have been at University for 2 weeks now and I am enjoying it immensely. I get to fuck around with £6000 cameras and learn about making films and running a television studio. So I find it very odd that during all this inspiration I am getting to pursue my dreams in the world of movie making my creativity level has gone down rapidly. I haven't had any time to contribute to my scripts or stories, nor have I made any attempt recently to do any short films. However as the title suggests, the music never stops for some reason. I have been generating a lot of music recently and it's just funny to me that the reverse of what was happening when I was in college is going on. When I was studying music in College, outside of it I had no time for it. I over did it in the day and then on any other day I would focus on visual media.

It's a confusing way to operate. I think mainly I'm trying to look at the bigger picture at the moment. I don't want to film until I have a good enough script and I don't want to add to my script until I feel I have a good enough thing to add. I think that music is the only thing I am consistently prolific with and in a sense this is very useful for when the time comes that I need to add music to one of my films because I don't have to worry about copyrights. I basically have a library of over 3 hours of electronica and about an hour or so of other guitar stuff. Then there's the hour or so of odd ambience (which will be especially useful)

So yeah, if anyone does want some audio for a film or anything, I'm always available. I'll try and get some samples up soon and that. (I didn't start out this blog to advertise myself)

Hope you are all well

An amusing Uni story

by Davidives @ 2009-09-22 – 20:49:46

So I have been at University for 2 days now and I have to say so far so great. The grounds are beautiful and the people I have met so far are really fun, intelligent and friendly, although on my first day, Monday, something rather embarrassing happened to me.

It's not the worst thing in the world but its not an amazing way to start a year. I was told I needed to be at my building by 11 O'clock and as I approached it I saw a large group of people being lined up outside. As I wasn't 100% sure where I was supposed to be going I made my way over to them. A rather stiff suited man asked me “New student?” and without lying I told him yes. He then practically dragged me over to a line of people and stuck me with a partner of some sort. This is where Mr. Cunt comes into play. I call him Mr. Cunt because, if you ever saw this man you would automatically call him Mr. Cunt, despite what his real name is. A real bona-fide cunt of a man. Sarcasm in every word. A one man instrument of patronising tones. He told us all to drop our bags and shake each others hands. I did not drop my bag. Despite having a camera in it, I don't take orders from bona-fide cunts. He then proceeded to encourage us all to tell each other our names, followed by a series of questions to ask each other along the lines of “What would you do if you won the lottery?” yeah, real original stuff like that. He asked me what I would do. On the spot and attempting to answer honestly I said “Buy a new camera?” He then tried his hardest to make me look like Mr. Cunt by informing me he would give almost all of it to charity. I told him “that's nice. You really are a very nice person” and he left me alone. By the time he asked us all to sing happy birthday to each other (absolutely true, seriously) I asked the suited flat headed man if I, a media student was even supposed to be here. I was relieved when he said I didn't. I was in the middle of a meet and greet for the Computer students. I walked away as fast as I could not looking back. I had feared for a second that my tutors were complete idiots and that I was in for a year of Mr. Cunt and his generous and charitable ways. Relieved as I was I couldn't help feel sorry for the computer students that had to endure this.

I arrived at my lecture at 11:15 so it wasn't too bad, however its a 15 minutes I would love to forget.

I hope you enjoyed this short tale of minor embarrassment and I am sure there will be many more over the next 3 years.

Uni, God and Fridge magnets

by Davidives @ 2009-09-21 – 02:20:59

I know my last post was quite pro-Gregg's but lets clear this up. The only fully satisfying Gregg's I have ever been in was the one in Greenwich. Recently I tried the one in Bromley and although the sandwich was okay, it didn't hold a candle to what Greenwich had to offer. Also when I went in there must have been a sign on the wall I didn't see reading “The stupidest, most over personal, loud and badly singing member of staff gets a £50 bonus today” because I literally couldn't pay for my items quick enough. I had to escape being serenaded while they all shouted at each other “You on break? When is my break? Can you pick me up some rolls?”

I have been thinking about God again recently (not that I ever don't have the eternal question burning in my brain at all given times of each and every fucking day) but yesterday I came to the abstract notion that God is in fact, a Fridge Magnet. Consider that Evolution is a Fridge. It holds most things, not everything but most things. It gives them a place and keeps them from going off (on one). Then stick a fridge magnet to the fridge. It looks nice and that but it doesn't affect anything the fridge does.

Also in retrospect I realised this was a stupid theory and stopped thinking about it. Think harder about your metaphors David, think harder.

Anyway, I start University tomorrow/today which is exciting. It's odd because I literally haven't met anyone. No one on the course, no teachers or anything so not sure what to expect really. I have a temporary I.D though which you will be happy to know makes me look like an idiot and this week is “Fresher's week” and I have no idea what that involves. From what my Universities student paper describes though it seems to be the social event of the decade...

Anyway, hope you are all well

Old Gregg's

by Davidives @ 2009-09-18 – 02:06:20

I have memories of “Greggs” the bakers. I have memories similar to my memories of KFC. I have memories of walking past it and getting the scent of steamed turds whofting up my nose holes. I have memories of going in there with my mum as a child and being overshadowed by the never changing 45-55 year old female staff offering the most putrid looking sausage rolls and pasties filled with old nappy waste (probably) I have memories of only ever wanting their ginger bread men. The taste of the ginger combined with the smartie created probably my first orgasm.

So you can imagine my confusion when a few days ago after registering for my University in Greenwich I decided to go in there. I don't know why I did it. I literally haven't stepped near them in about 7 years, but for some reason or another I decided to have a look. I took a chance ladies and gentlemen and bought their chicken and bacon salad sandwich with white seeded bread and what I'm about to say ladies and gentlemen is something I will never come to understand or fully accept. That sandwich was possibly the nicest sandwich I have ever eaten. It was perfect. Everything about it was amazing. The lettuce was crisp and fresh as was the warm soft bread. I felt empty after finishing it. I wanted another one, but luckily as a back up (and for nostalgic purposes) I also purchased a gingerbread man and that my friends was softer than a babies nappy leftovers. It was amazing.

This is my personal apology to Gregg's. I am very sorry Gregg's. You have indeed improved, and I plan to be a customer of your damned fine sandwiches.

Again many apologies for the absence. Been very busy sorting out my Uni stuff and whatnot. Hope you are all well. I have enclosed an amazing song by “THE TUSS” AKA Richard D James better known as Aphex Twin/Polygon Window/AFX/Caustic Window ect... I know its confusing.

The Cheese Baron

by Davidives @ 2009-08-28 – 01:44:52

Here's a short video me and my friends farted out today in about an hour.

An hour to film and a decade to edit.
I haven't posted up a video in a while so i thought i might as well make it one of my own!
Don't judge it too harshly, it was just us getting up to some shenanigans

I'm Back! + Canary Wharf

by Davidives @ 2009-08-25 – 01:35:43

I'm Back!

“Did he even leave? I don't remember!” Yes I did leave. Well, I didn't “Leave” but I didn't log on for a while, and I had about 20 personal messages (most of which weren't that personal) and “140 new posts” which I don't even bother deleting now just because of the ridiculous speed in which they update.

I know that out of a majority of the bloggers on here I am not the most prolific. I don't update often and I disappear for months on end. It's not because I hate you all. It's because due to certain problems in life (I wont go into what they are, we all got enough) I kind of have a miniature breakdown where I cant face my computer let a lone think of anything to write about. I sit on my sofa all day while watching mind numbing daytime TV shows and Community created content channels while all the time brooding in a pathetic hatred at every ad-break. When things all die down I can clear my head and get back to thinking normally. I can start writing my graphic novel again and various other projects and then in the gaps in-between I can start doing blogs about things.

Just thought I would explain all my absences.

At the moment I don't feel like being negative about anything. I just got out of that. So just an update today then yeah?

Well, I'm off to Uni in September. That is now official. But come children, Gather round as I tell you the tale of how I got my student Account at NatWest …

It all started when my brain decided NatWest was the bank for me. Disillusioned with Nationwide and their reluctance to give me a debit card to use on internet purchases I felt that as I was coming into some money (my student loan) it would be wise to turn my back on them. Also NatWest's offer of a free 5 year 30% off student rail card sealed the deal.

So off I went to open my account. I was up Canary Wharf with a friend (More on the Wharf later) so I decided I might as well do it in their branch. I lined up for about 15 minutes before being seen by a short, late twenty something bagel of woman with a face that screamed “I don't want to speak to you!” I told her : “Hello there, I would like to open a student account please” and she informed me “We're too busy today, you'll have to go to the London Bridge branch” It didn't look busy. No time for unsuited students I suppose. So off we go to London Bridge where I am greeted by a man who looked a few months younger than me. After a long wait he informed me that I didn't have the correct forms. Apparently they were all correct, except they didn't say how long the course was so my student account was denied. I pointed him towards the actual specification to what I needed to bring in their actual student account leaflet/booklet guide. I showed him how it didn't state this and if it was such a problem perhaps they should consider changing it. I didn't get my student account that day.

After a couple of days I ventured somewhere more local (Bromley) and opened my student account in their NatWest. Funnily enough the staff were much friendlier and I got accepted straight away despite having less documents than before. After signing my embarrassingly unpractised and highly forge-able signature I left proud with my pathetic and simple banking venture. I am not cut out for the Business lifestyle, which brings me back around to Canary Wharf, a place I will never understand. Separate from the rest of the country and more sterile than a surgeons sausage, its hectic, suited and pretentious air gets to me after about 15 minutes. There's only so much barging one person can take. It also saddens me that so much work is done to ensure its cleanliness but the rest of the city has such terrible litter problems and homelessness.

So yeah, sorry that I haven't been on here for a long time again. I won't promise that I'll try, because I probably won't. But I'll grace you with a blog whenever it suits me basically. If anyone does want to communicate with me at any time though you're all free to email me or Private message me.

Hope you are all well