Dave's Negative Blogs

shameless plugs and Alan Moore

by Davidives @ 2008-10-28 – 01:46:55

This is my first blog in a while and i really dont feel like conforming to my self giving title of "negative"

The reason why i take so long to do blogs (i think my last was about 2 weeks ago) is because its hard to always think about negative things to write about that dont actually involve my current personal life. Needless to say im in a bad mood and have even resulted in taking it out on other bloggers! (sorry mighty-boosh-kitty however i still think you get featured way too much) But i think if i write about anything negative for a while my head will actually fall off.

I have always tried to keep my blogs away from the typical angle of writing about my life and instead writing them with the mindset i was writing an article for the Guardian newspaper or something. I did this for a few different reasons but i did it mainly because (1) Why would anyone want to know what was going on in my life and why would i want effective strangers to know? and (2) I wanted to keep my blogs interesting and relitively well written and not "droolings of the mind"

I could have completely copped out and resorted to writing my opinion about something i read in a tabloid newspaper but i think for today im going to completely go against what i have been doing previously and just give you a completely boring overvue of my last 2 weeks (as that seems to be what gets people featured) So here we go:

The last 2 weeks i have been mostly watching films, listening to music, making a film and reading books.

Films: The films i have been mainly focusing on lately are 80s horrors for inspiration on my own horror film "Splatterpus"
www.diaryofanammaturefilmmaker.blog.co.uk - you can see its progress here on this horribly shameless plug.

I have also been watching all my Coen brothers films as well as going to the cinema with my girlfriend to see their new film "burn after reading" which was very good.

Music: I have been mainly working on the music for my horror film which i am directing.
www.diaryofanammaturefilmmaker.blog.co.uk - Heres another shameless plug to my other blog, because i reall just want to fill up some room on this page to give the illusion of more stuff i have been doing over the last 2 weeks.

I have also been listening to : Devin Townsend, Mastodon, Aphex Twin and Squarepusher

As well as ALL THIS i have also been reading. I have read "V for Vendetta" and "Watchmen" by Alan Moore. Like most people i had seen the film version of V for Vendetta (which to be fair is very good) however when you read the graphic novel you really do realise just how lacking the movie is.

I also thought it was about time i read "Watchmen" I dont really like seeing a movie adaptation unless i have a full understanding of how its supposed to be. Needless to say it was definately one of the most amazing, deep and interesting things i have ever read.

I CAN ASSURE YOU i am NOT just jumping on the watchmen bandwagon. unfortunately due to my tender and innocent age of 18, due to no fault of my own i was not alive when it first came out. I am however glad i can say i have read it before the movie has come out as even though the movie looks good i doubt it can ever fully capture what Watchmen means to me. I do read "grown up books" as well and i can honestly say despite watchmen being what some ignorant people would cosider a "kids comic book" its definately no Beano and is deeper than anything else i have read so far. But i could talk about Watchmen all day so i'll stop now.

Oh yeah did i remember to plug my new blog? I didnt? oh well ok here it is:

www.diaryofanammaturefilmmaker.blog.co.uk

Mightyboosh Kitty and injustice

by Davidives @ 2008-10-28 – 01:21:16

Before i start this complaint let me first state i have nothing against "mightyboosh-kitty"

But i cant help but ntice she is being featured...again. I dont know how unpopular this moaning is going to make me with her but i dont understand how someone can be featured so many times. its almost every other week. Thats not to say i think it should be me instead of her. But i dont think its fair to be featured on a regular basis. I am sure mightyboosh kitty's blogs are very good and i have read a few of them a couple of months ago when i first saw she was featured and they were quite entertaining. Just to repeat myself, this is NOT anythign against her in particular. Im sure if I was being featured every week i wouldnt complain but the bottom line is im not.

Maybe im just being a moany bastard but i cant help but notice there are a lot of other bloggers on this site and in my particular friends list there are a large amount of really interesting and clever bloggers who don't seem to get a minutes notice.

I wouldnt mind as much if everytime i saw who was being featured it didnt look so familiar. Its not just mightyosh kitty either. I think theres is someone else on there too who i have sene on there multiple times. I know it may sound like me being really jelous, and maybe i am a bit. And if your reading this Mightyboosh kitty, keep up the good work on your obviousy successful blog and of course i dont expect you to complain about your current blog popularity. Just dont think im a cock because i complain...

...its my Job

NEW BLOG!!!!!!PLEASE READ

by Davidives @ 2008-10-24 – 02:29:36

Im still going to be updating this blog but i just started filming my movie!!!!

Its a horror movie so check out the blog on it! its

www.diaryofanammaturefilmmaker.blog.co.uk

Pasta Hut

by Davidives @ 2008-10-06 – 19:15:31

Before i start this rant let me just make clear im not exactly Pizza Hut's number one fan. Anytime i have been in there i have found the food relatively nice but the service terrible. I have also noticed that the pasta and salad area hardly get touched.

Im sure you have heard by now that Pizza Hut is planning on changing its name to ... Pasta Hut.

Yeah i can see it now a big board room full of upper middle class suited drones. "Why arent peaple eating more pizza hut? could it be our poor service? No that couldnt be it. Could it be our rediculously high prices? No of course not. were thinking too small here. Could it possibly be our regimented and nazi like rule of only 1 trip to the salad bar? No no no. Perhaps its our inability to get the rights to serve Coke? No thats rediculous everyone loves Pepsi! Wait! i've got it. Yeah thats it, its so obvious. Were too Pizza focused! People don't go to pizza hut wanting pizza. we need to change the name! Wouldn't it be crazy if people went in there, ordered pasta as a main course and then pizza as a side? My God...im a corperate genius. And the beauty is no one will even notice! they will just think a brand new chain has opened up!"

To me the most insulting part is that these sleazy corperate fucks actually believe that with something as simple as a name change the public is going to flood in. They must surely think we are idiots because of course, no one goes to pizza hut in search of ... pizza do they?

What kind of a twisted fuck goes into pizza hut by their own free will and orders pasta because they "Dont like pizza!"

I have nothing against pasta...in fact i damn love the stuff. Its pretty much my favourite food but this is too far. Pizza hut has been pizza hut since the early 80s and corperate idiotic moves like this are the kind of thing that is going to eventually bring down pizza hut....

...although i really dont know if that would be such a terrible idea

Just remember Jif is called Cif now...just in case you forgot.

God TV

by Davidives @ 2008-09-30 – 16:44:06

Talking about religion AGAIN dave? yes, yes i am! Today im talking about GOD TV. i used to have an addiction to GOD TV. i used to stay up till about 4 am watching it. Not because i liked it obviously...because i just couldnt believe what i was seeing. It has to be possibly one of the most evil channels ever made. I know what your thinking: "evil!? how can you say its evil! its spreading the word of god!" Well look, if your a Christian thats fine but this channel really doesnt sit well with me.

One of the first programs i saw on it was "the frost debate" where a pannel talk about Christian issues. It has to be one of the strangest "debates" i have ever seen. I would have thought that if they really wanted a debate they would at least have some non chritstians there but it was just 4 christians! ok i know what your thinking, its a Christian show they dont want any heathens on it, thats fine but in that case i really would have thought they would have a few different types of Christians on...or even just some with different viewpoints!? nooope! it was pretty much just 4 men discussing what needs to be changed in the church...and they all kept agreeing with each other. Not really a DEBATE is it?

This annoyed me mildly but it wasnt untill the next piece of quality programming came on that i was enraged. It was one of those shows where you are encouraged to give money to the channel. It was called "Missions week" and as far as i can tell it seems to be missions week...every week. CLEVER! Anyway its basically one huge telethon where if you donate some money to the church you get your name read out. "thank you so much to Kathy from Peckham who has given us £34,000. God is going to fix that terminal cancer for you! i can feel it!" I am sure Kathy is not very wealthy and is obviously very down if she like me is watching God Tv at 4 am ... also I am sure poor Kathy is dead by now. This kind of love of money really makes me sick especially from so called "Christians" they make out that money is a great thing because "it can be used to build churches and help spread the word of god" only snag is i failed to find out while watching 3 hours of missions week just exactly where that money was going. Did you know there is a famous bible story in which Jesus himself is so enraged about money that he kicks over loads of market stools and tells off market traders. Thats right kicks the stools over! prince of peace aye? Im an athiest and i think i am actually a better Christian than these telemarketer preachers!

One other thing i hate on God TV though are the "healing sessions" they have where they play cheesy organ music and have an over enthusiastic repressed paedophile kick peoples crutches away and tell them to dance and tell the blind they will wake up in the morning with 20/20 vision because "GOD HAS BLESSED YOU MY CHILD!" Like comedians they all seem to have an odd warm up act too. It actually is a form of comedy because it seems to get the audience riled and laughing and in the mood to be exploited. They dont really have jokes per say but they more or less just like to take the mickey out of "those silly atheists!" They like to talk about us as the unsaved and also like to pretend that it doesnt bother them. Thats funny because i could have sworn i have been told numerous times that im destined to hell for my non religious ways.

If there is a heaven i am going to laugh my arse off when all these Christians dont get let in and are sent to hell for their money focused living...and hopefully i would just end up in pergatory for eternity...given i dont kill anyone soon.

Katy Perry is a moron

by Davidives @ 2008-09-23 – 21:18:21

I wanted to think up a clever title to attract people to this blog like "I killed Kate Perry and i liked it" but i thought that sounded a bit threatening so i decided against it...i think the current one portrays my point though.

Everyone is playing this song at the moment and its driving me nuts. Its not just driving me nuts because every passing car and HMV is blasting out this generic bile. its mainly because of the songs self awareness. Its gaining mainstream success because its conteroversial...and it knows it. Its conteroversial because homosexuality is STILL tabboo and im sure that religious organisations and parents around the country are terrified this song is going to single handedly turn the children of the world into Julian Clareys. In terms of catchiness factor its "Umberella" all over again. i have a feeling this song isnt going away for a long time.

And who the hell is Kate Perry exactly? Previous to this song i had never heard of her. She seems to be the new flavour of the month. She resembles an American Kate Nash in every sense right down to her pretentiously flamboyant dress sense.

One thing i really hope about this Kate Perry fad is that gay people do not encourage this woman. If you listen to her actual lyrics especially in the song "i kissed a girl and i liked it" she is doing more to sully the name of Lesbians around the world than to stand up for it. The song basically says: "im a straight woman who has a boyfriend and i am kissing this girl out of pure curiosity...also she means nothing to me and its all just a game to me" If you dont believe me, stop dancing around mindlessly to the poppy electro beat and actually listen to the lyrics...they arent difficult to interperet as shes not exactly a musical poet.

I would like to say i cant wait to stop hearing this song but i know once that happens the next flavour of the month will come...and they only get worse.

The Jonas Brothers

by Davidives @ 2008-09-16 – 01:42:31

Remember the days when rock music was something rebellious and cool? Remember when being in a band was a gritty experience. I have a band and have played quite a few gigs including older bands and college bands and to me its all about the grimey shit holes you play in. Theres something dangerous and real about it. Its where you have no pyrotechnics, no auto tune and no backing track. The crowd can be relentless bastards sometimes so its important to have total confidence in your music. You have to genuinally TRY.

Which leads me to the jonas brothers. In case your not aware of them they are basically an american McFly who are hugely promoted by Disney...need i say more? Its along the lines of Hanah Montanna/Miley Cyrus. Its clean cut and totally in this summer! I can actually tollerate the likes of Hanah Montanna's music. As appauling as her music is (and i do fucking hate it) at least it knows what it is. Its generic shit-pop aimed at the 8 - 12 year old girls market. Its there purely as an advertisment for disney and is a money making conglomerate shit bastard. I cant forgive it for being an evil business...but like i said at least it knows what its doing. The Johas brothers on the other hand...

...Well they arent just clean cut, they are PURE. thats right folks, the hippest, trendiest band to hit your kids eardrums are purity ring wearing hardcore Christians. This is NOT a positive role model for children. Obviously you dont want your kids running around having underage sex and getting pregnant at 9...BUT its not sleazy evil TALENTED music that does this to your kids...its generic terrible music pumped through your children. Its the music videos that display the colourful images that scream "THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE ASSOSIATED WITH DISNEY...YOU MIGHT LIKE THESE OTHER DISNEY PRODUCTS TOO...ONLY £76.99 AT TOYS 'R' US" Its messages like this that teach your kids its ok to be a fucking drone thus not letting them think for themselves contributing to their future carelessness. A hip hop video with women shaking their booty's is NOT going to make your son a sex crazed rapist its just going to desensatise him earlier on. Making him wear a purity ring however might make him go a little bit...Norman Bates

Could it get any worse? Oh yeah it could. Definately. Today i read an interview in the newspaper with the Jonas brothers where they spoke about their devout dedication to god...oh and they also chatted casually about how nice of a guy they thought George W Bush is. "we have played a few shows for him not and hes a really cool guy. He knows the words to some of our songs and stuff" Now im not going to go into the left wing versus the right here...but my god. My fucking GOD. Is THAT a positive message for your children?! "Hey little Mary. you see that guy on the TV. thats the president! hes responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people. He sends young men to their deaths...but guess what Mary.." "What Daddy?" "He likes the Jonas brothers and they like him so hes really not so bad"

Aint it just fucking precious. I have always had major problems with Disney and the way it patronises children to the Nth Degree but this truely is something else.

Its times like this that actually make me glad to be British (this is not patriotism its comparison) we have the same problems as America but its comforting to know theirs are worse. I think the worst McFly sell are polyphonic ringtones and their bodies to "smash hits magazine"

The Jonas Brothers are selling twisted Christian morality and George Bush

"I'll have one McFly Ringtone please!"

Signing on...

by Davidives @ 2008-09-15 – 02:05:35

Today i signed on to the JSA

its a strange experience...i have failed to find a job so i have been banished to the once feared job centre. Dont get me wrong i have nothing against it or the people who go there, ijust never thought i would bother...but now that i have no money i have to chew the fat and go through with it.

Anyway i was greeted outside the job centre at 11 am by a long line of people who looked like they would kill me if i looked at them. I was contemplating joining the line as i am a "Dole Virgin" and wasn't exactly sure where to go or what to do. I wondered what kind of a twisted organisation makes people line up outside in the cold for their free money. I decided to go inside the place where i was informed i had to "go up the stairs, turn right and wait for your name to be called" i did this...i waited...and i waited...for 40 minutes. I was then informed i was on the wrong floor and needed to go upstairs. I went upstairs and spoke to a woman who didnt seem very interested in my financial needs. In fact she didnt make eye contact with me at all. she then sent me down a corridor to another room. The person in that room took my national insurance number and sent me BACK to the room i just came from. I then had to fill in a form i had already filled out over the phone. Then i was told to sit down and wait for the man to speak to me. He was sitting at his desk directly in front of me doing nothing. as soon as it reached 12 30 he then told me to come over. I did and we went through all the shit i have to do to get my free money. ie: prove i am looking for work. he then gave me some papers and told me to come back in 2 weeks..

..i need a fucking job so badly.

If i have to meet with pauline again i might lose my fucking mind

"helloo jobseekers! ya fucking dole scum!!"

DEATH MAGNETIC

by Davidives @ 2008-09-12 – 02:19:08

This is NOT going to be a negative blog. I have nothing but good things to say about death magnetic.

I got mine today from HMV as they released it 2 days early for some reason. Over the past couple of months i have been hearing samples and a few live tracks but now that i have the actual album...it is...amazing.

Let me first start by stating i LOVED st anger. When it first came out i will admit i was mildly concerned with how repetative it was BUT it did grow on me. Its a truely awesome album...but fan wise it didnt do well. Perhaps it was its lack of solos...or maybe even its lack of any guitar melody. But the bottom line is that if it was any other band bringing it out you would think "fuck me thats an amazingly heavy album"

Anyway back to Death Magnetic...whats not to LOVE! i am a huge Metallica fan but im not bias. I do try to make my own opinions on these albums and i like some less that others. For example i dont really like the song "ONE" that everyone seems to love. Also i dont rate Kirk Hammett as that great a guitarist (more on which later)

I think the main reason this album will do better than st anger is because as an overall album Death Magnetic is a lot more diverse. It has all the great catchy choruses, thrashy verses but now also has irregular time signatures and song structures. There are some qualities on this album that make it not only stand out as Metallica's best album for years but one of the best metal albums for a while. I will admit i am giddier than a schoolgirl whos eating a picture of johnny depp on a roundabout about this album but im trying not to let it cloud my judgment.

Now back to the whole Hammett fiasco i was on about earlier. I can see why people like him. Hes fast and uses the blues scale a lot. But im really sick of people putting him ahead of James Hetfield. James Hetfield IS the main songwriter for metallica. that covers riffs, vocal melody, structures and lyrics. Im not saying kirk doesnt contribute but i think that james is obviously more accomplished musically. Just because he chooses to standback and let Kirk solo does not mean he is inferior.

Anyway go out and BUY death magnetic now!

Its £9.99

and the album is around 80 minutes long...each track around 8 minutes. if thats not value for money then...

I DONT KNOW WHAT IS!

"miracle" of childbirth

by Davidives @ 2008-09-08 – 02:04:39

Year five was horrible. In year five i was made to watch a video that can harm you more than "the ring" I dont know if sex education is still taught the same but when i reached year five i was shown one of the most demented videos in the universe. Most of the video was made up of hilarious animations that display a child confused at his first sexual feelings. These we all laughed at. Also the girls being escorted away from the boys to be told about their periods was not only strange at the time but rediculously intreaguing. I remember boys confronting girls and asking "What the hell did they tell you!? come on tell me!" it drove kids loco. There were 2 things on the sordid video however that were quite disturbing.

Firstly there was a clip of a family who apparently all walk around their house naked. Where does this family live so i can inform the police? Dont get me wrong i have nothing against naturists but you should choose to be one and not force your children to do it. Im not implying any connotations to paedophilia, im just indicating thats it demented. This family is too close. Most families dont like each other most of the time let alone skip around the house naked and take baths together. If you do consider youself a true naturist sell your house and go and live in the forest. But im getting off subject now...

...It was the videos grand finale that made me want to rip out my eyeballs and stuff them into my pencil case beneath the shards of sharp pencil shavings. The feature presentation ladies and gentlemen was...THE MIRACLE OF CHILDBIRTH! This is not something someone that young needs to see. I think its probably safer to show a year 5 pupil 2 people actually having sex, which for some reason i could never understand why they didnt. Its sex education right? But no all its intent on showing you is STDs. Speaking of STDs the worst of them all is a child. Im sorry if i seem harsh but i do not consider childbirth a miracle. Fortunately i am no longer a child so this gives me the RIGHT to claim how much i dislike them. Im not saying i wont ever want kids because who knows how my opinions will change? But i really dont see any benifit of getting them in the next 40 years. The video is vile. As if its not bad enough that a child is coming out to ruin your life...its covered in...well i dont know what it is but theres a lot of colours going on there. Im not going to go into the whole abortion debate right now but all i will say is i personally believe the time period a woman should have to abort the child should be around...18 years. Yeah i can imagine it now. Young Dave junior is 17. He wants to stay out late one night so i let him borrow the car (being the hip cool dad i am!) but what does he do? he brings it back with a headlight smashed and a parking ticket for £70...ABORTED. i warned him!

My point is the sex education video didnt scare me away from sex...it just scared me away from all children. Kids hate me...and i hate them. Children (like all people) are a chemical reaction...

...an annoying one.